To Save Him by Jade C Jamison

Author:Jade C Jamison [Jamison, Jade C]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jade C. Jamison
Published: 2016-11-21T05:00:00+00:00

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FINISHING GABRIEL’S ROOM left me exhausted in any and every way imaginable. Everything I touched held a memory and I had wound up keeping far too many things than I should have. I knew this and still I did it. But I called one of the thrift stores in town, one who contributed most of their profits to helping the homeless, and they promised to be at my address two days later to pick up the donations. Brandon enlisted JR’s help and they moved the donation items to the floor of the garage (which was nothing more than a storage spot anyway). The keeper items also went in that big dusty room, but they were placed on the metal shelves against one wall, above the Christmas decorations, next to other mementos I’d kept of all my offspring’s childhoods.

But that night in bed I realized something. Yes, I continued to ache for my son, still felt unbearable guilt and loss, but I also noticed something else. Unlike after his memorial service, where my grief was fresh and raw, I felt something akin to a weight being lifted. I still had plenty to carry, but there was something…and maybe it was because I’d made our house a little lighter. Yes, we had Gabriel’s memory, but it was almost as if we’d taken a grave out of our home. There were still reminders of my son all over the house, but instead of bringing sadness, they reminded us of the joy when he was a physical part of our lives. His room had merely been a reminder of our loss, a wound not allowed to heal.

I was, somehow, healthier for having cleared his room.

And I felt like I had Brandon to thank. My way of showing gratitude to him was going to be by helping him, something I would have done anyway, without the return favor he’d already given me. But this young man had suffered enough in his short life and I felt like, on some level, helping him was something my son would have wanted, too. The gesture was also a way of honoring my son’s memory. That Brandon and Gabriel had been like brothers told me all I needed to know, and I knew helping him was something I had to do.

He was already asleep, but I tightened my hug on him for a few moments, as if trying to communicate everything in my mind. His return squeeze reassured me that he could sense my intentions, if not my thoughts.

Tomorrow would be a fresh day…maybe the first day of the rest of our lives.

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